MAKING A WISH

Hi, all. Sorry for the lack of activity here. My injury is more serious than I’d hoped. There are no broken bones, but last week, I had an ultrasound--using this device that suspiciously resembled a George Foreman Grill-- and the docs told me that my quad tendon was definitely torn and that it would require surgery to repair. The surgery needs to be sooner than later, so Kechi and I have been rushing to figure out the logistics of that, as well as getting a hold of mobility aids to get me back in class. What a way to start the quarter!

Anyway, I’m going in for an MRI Thursday night, unless I can somehow get one earlier, and then I’ll have a surgery consult on the 7th. My parents will also be visiting, which I’m very happy about—it took them a lot longer to come see me in New Orleans, and I don’t think they both managed to come at the same time until my book came out in the summer of 2022.

Predictably, this complication stalled me a little bit on DEAD END BOYS, but I’m getting back in the saddle this very night. I’ve attended a couple program events since my injury: one was a welcome gathering at the Prairie Moon downtown, and the other was a monthly writers' gathering in Andersonville. Both went relatively well, but last night I had a little shock of terror and pain as I was navigating with my walker looking for a bathroom at the bar. I’m wearing a sort of improvised splint that uses bandages and this quick-hardening cast-like material. It works surprisingly well to keep my knee in place. Last night, as I was cripping my way through the upstairs bar in search of a men’s room, my knee suddenly wobbled, with a bright shock of pain, and I immediately abandoned my mission. Kechi and I headed home right away, and at that point, I was a little worried about going back to class and what all that would entail.

I’m a bit more hopeful today, especially now that we’ve rented a wheelchair. I originally thought that since I am walking again, after a fashion, and walking much better than I have since I fell down the apartment stairs outside my front door that I could manage it with just the walker, but that’s a bit of a pipe-dream. I’ve never been chair bound before, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get mobile again.

One of the weirdest things about this situation is the pain. I knew academically that my experience of pain is a bit different from that of other folks, but this is being brought home to me very clearly by this situation. Since the initial fall, my pain hasn’t gotten beyond a 3, as far as I can tell. The only issue with that is that I know I’m often—if not always—experiencing pain from this injury that I can’t quite feel. I’m not taking any opioids or anything like that—I’m just doing my best with Tylenol, and so far I’ve been pretty successful with that. Mostly.

In the meantime, I do think I’ve decided what my first workshop story will be this quarter—unless I have to use a novel excerpt. We’ll see. Coming to Northwestern made me feel a bit like a Make a Wish kid, and now that I’ve hurt myself like this, I know that I’m not experiencing some sort of hallucination. I’m really here, we’re really doing this, and I’m still over-the-moon excited. I don’t know what the injury will do to my travel plans. Will we still be able to make it back to NO for Mardi Gras? Who knows? How long will it take me to get back to class after the surgery? When will the surgery even happen? Questions and questions and questions make it a bit hard to focus sometimes.

Kechi and I did have a great anniversary, though. We didn’t get to go out the way we’d hoped, but we were gifted a lovely hotel room in downtown Evanston that gave us a break from our air bed. Now we’ve got a temporary proper bed with a permanent frame until our bed arrives from Baton Rouge, and it’s made the apartment—and life in general—much more livable. The only issue with it is that we don’t have the storage bench we kept at the foot of the bed in our old home that acted as a platform Karate could use to leap up onto the mattress. He is perplexed and offended by this, and I understand that completely.

Hopefully our things will arrive in the next couple weeks—and if they don’t, I’ll buy another bench or at least some dog stairs. Kechi bought me a pretty advanced wheeled walker with breaks and a storage basket, as well as honestly the fanciest recliner I’ve ever owned. It wasn’t even that expensive, but man does it help me achieve comfort without lying in our new bed, and that’s a major plus. I keep seeing a post online built around the advice "Marry someone you can suffer with," and that definitely applies to my situation. Kechi has been the best and most supportive partner I've ever had on every front, but especially now, she's rising to the occasion. I'm doing everything I can to take pressure off her, but there's still a lot. She's a joy and a treasure, and anytime she needs me I'll rush to her side and do exactly the same for her.

At first, we were very worried about how we’d deal with living in a second-floor walk-up while all this is happening, but that’s proven not to be such a big deal. Yes, I have to go up and down the stairs very slowly and carefully, but the process is much simpler and less precarious than I’d feared, especially now that I have this stabilizing splint. The main problem has been dealing with the residual trauma from the initial injury. At first, I was a bit nervous to go down the stairs because that’s how I banged myself up in the first place, but I think that trepidation has settled into just a basic respect for the situation, and I’m able to slowly, carefully descend without causing myself pain or undue stress. Getting into the car is a little more complicated because my leg can’t bend with this thing on, but we’ve even managed that a few times. I honestly think we’re in good shape.

This weekend, I also spent what for me is a princely sum on winter gear—everything except the boots. I’ve never paid this much for a coat of my own. Apparently one of those mirrored blankets you see given to rescued hikers and mountain climbers is sewn into the lining. I’m not kidding myself that the weather will be easy to handle now that I have it, but it’ll be easier, I’m sure. Now we just have to get Kechi fully outfitted. (Oh, and because of this injury, I’ve bought my first-ever pair of crocs. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I haven’t yet allowed myself to be seen in public with them.)

Le sigh, I’ll let this be the end of my update for this week. Thanks for reading!