CALL ME KATE BUSH (Cuz I Be Running Up That Hill)

Okay! Well. First of all, thank you, all of you, for being so patient with me. I know I haven’t been posting much, but adding my worst-ever injury to the process of adjusting to moving cross-country and entering grad school has been… a lot. What it hasn’t been, I’m relieved to say, is impossible. While I have a couple minutes, I’d like to fill everyone in on what’s going on with me.

First of all, yes, my injury is still the major thing I’m dealing with. It happened in the very first week of school, and in order to keep my generous funding, I have to keep up with school work well enough that I don’t have to go on medical leave. Luckily, the Litowitz MFA program comes with very good health insurance, so in the midst of this turmoil, I’ll only be responsible for about $800 instead of over $80k. Dealing with all this AND finishing a draft of DEAD END BOYS has been a heavy load, but at least I’m not alone.

The program has been bending over backwards to accommodate my situation. Sara Schulman has been working tirelessly to help me out, my profs, Justin L. Mann and Wendy Wall have been understanding and flexible—zooming me in to class when need be, and my writing workshop professor, Juan Martinez, especially, has been a light in all this. Not only do he and my classmates help a bit with mobility issues in the moment, Juan’s approach to workshop—the way he lectures easily, breezily, and conversationally, and the exercises he gives us (the course is drawing-heavy in a way it would never have occurred to me to try on my own) has changed my approach to teaching, learning, and writing. The guy is a prince among men, and while our paths never quite crossed before I joined the program here at Northwestern, I’m so so glad they have now.

I also owe great thanks to my agent, Shawna McCarthy, and my editor at Orbit/Red Hook, Alyea Canada. It was a major surprise to me when Nivea Evans, my original editor announced that she was leaving Orbit for Saga. I’m always talking about how Black women are on the bleeding edge of speculative fiction because of their position in society, and the necessity for fresh approaches, perspectives, and thought regarding how to imagine and build better worlds, and Nivea was no exception. I have been supremely fortunate to be paired with another Black woman for work on my next two books, and I can’t wait to get further into the editorial process with Alyea. Late Monday night, I turned in a (rather) rough draft of the novel, and I’m going to try not to wet my frock as I wait for her editorial letter.

There have been so many people who have helped me in ways large and small through all this, but the biggest help has been my wife, Kechi. Sometimes all these obligations and complications make me feel overlarge and stretched-thin like an escaped parade balloon, and every time I start to spiral away, Kechi grounds me, helps me interrupt the negativity trying to consume me, and remind me what all this effort is for. I knew early on that she was the one for me, that I couldn’t wait to marry her, but every day, she proves me right all over again.

It’s a crazy feeling using a walker and a wheelchair to get around. In some ways, it’s my greatest fear that I’ll be come a great big fat guy who can’t move around, but thanks to Kechi’s urging, and the support from my care team, I’ve actually lost some weight since the accident—which seems patently absurd. I guess I’m living proof that a pair of five-pound barbells and chair workout videos from Youtube make a difference.

Tomorrow morning, I’m going to be operated on in downtown Chicago. I’m choosing to take the fact that I can already sort of walk and stand on my bad knee as a sign that with a lot of effort, and over a period of several months, I’ll be able to recover fully from this mishap, and continue to meet my obligations on most, if not all, fronts. I’m nervous, as I’ve never had surgery of any kind in all my life, but I’m honestly very happy. I feel blessed to be in the position I enjoy right now, even with the bad luck that complicated the situation.

By the way, I might have started the next novel in class this past Thursday. Time will tell. And then in conversation with a dear friend earlier today, I basically pitched the novel after that. The response was pretty positive, especially considering how crazy the premise for that one is. I’m told I’ll be wearing a pretty restrictive knee stabilizer for the next six weeks, and for the first two weeks, I’ll be confined to my apartment—just in time for the weather to begin turning in earnest. I can’t wait to get back to class in-person, and to start posting fiction and other work on Patreon again!

Thanks for reading, y’all. I love you.